If you didn't already know, this week is Mental Health Awareness Week so I felt as if I should do my part to contributing to awareness and prevention of mental illnesses such as anorexia. So many people feel alone when they have a mental illness, but you're not and I hope this post can give you some hope that it really does get better.
If you're a reader of my blog, then you'd know over a year ago I'd posted my recovery story: 1 year later (read it
here) but that was a year ago and since then there's been so many changes. A year ago, 2 months after I wrote the post, I dropped to my lowest ever weight and became very unwell physically. This was due to stress and anxiety through change as I'd just started a new college. Between Summer 2014 and the beginning of 2015 was the worst spell of my physical illness and I was very weak.
However, mentally I was doing so much better and it was all thanks to going on holiday (pictured above). During this time, I learned to stop being obsessive over macros, I stopped counting calories and I didn't feel the need to exercise 24/7. During this time, I learned to become normal again. Summer was such a happy time for me because I felt myself going back to the old Jordan. The Jordan who could enjoy time with her friends, the one who didn't panic around food. It was amazing to feel like that again.
New Year's Eve 2014
From that day, I never counted calories again (well not as thoroughly anyways). I deleted My Fitness Pal, the app which controlled my life, and stopped using my private Instagram which fuelled my eating disorder. It was a hard time to just stop the routine but I felt so free. The voices in my head got quieter and I didn't feel so drawn in. Honestly, I think going on holiday was the most major thing in my recovery. Even though it was just a week, it pushed me to where I needed to be.
August 2015
So, in a year, since my last post, so much has changed. I'm so much better and happier, both physically and mentally. I've gained quite a bit of weight, but overall I feel better. It's nice to having to worry about low blood pressure, low heart rate or even wondering if you'll ever be able to have kids or not (yep this is the reality of eating disorders guys, it's not pretty!!). I'll save that for another post maybe though. Some days, I still struggle, but I have amazing support and it lasts about an hour before I'm back to eating chips and chocolate oops!
So, if you've managed to read all this then you get extra brownie points. I am living, breathing proof that recovery is possible. I'm not fully recovered, no one really ever is, but I can cope 98% of the time and difficulties are rare to come by in regards to food. If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment or email me via my 'contact me' page and I'll be super happy to respond.
Thanks for reading,
Jordan x
